On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
