Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
