she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
