my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
