why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize