this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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