It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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