I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
