Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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