Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
