I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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