about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
