Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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