whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
