I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
