just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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