she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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