im gay
i know
yea but for you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
