Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
