Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
