Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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