Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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