when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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