I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
