I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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