He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Shame - the story of my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
