Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
