and next time when you feel me up, do it right
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
