Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
