why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
