absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
