I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
