It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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