He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
