He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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