I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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