Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
