She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
