...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
