How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she peed on how many people?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
