I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think a kid would responsible me up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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