i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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