i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
