yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
