About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
