this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
