So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
