You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
