He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
