My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
